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Tweets for Tuesday 16 March, 75th day of the year, 290 days left for 2010

JOKE "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!" "Sit down and I'll deal with you later."

POEM I dare not ask a kiss, I dare not beg a smile, Lest having that, or this, I might grow proud the while. (Robert Herrick)

FORTUNE COOKIE You will find a bushel of money

WORD orotund (adjective) 1:Strong, clear, rich in voice or speech 2: Pompous, bombastic

FACT Two years after he had died in 1858 Oliver Cromwell's body was hanged in chains and his severed head was displayed on a pole.

QUOTE When you are in any contest you should work as if there were - to the very last minute - a chance to lose it. (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

TODAY Caligula becomes Roman Emperor(37 AD)

BORN Jerry Lewis comedian(1926)

DIED Judge Roy Bean jurist(1903)

Tweets for Monday 15 March, 74th day of the year, 291 days left for 2010

JOKE I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.

POEM Hi! my little hut / Is newly-thatched I see... / Blue morning-glories / (Haiku by Issa)

FORTUNE COOKIE Good sense is the master of human life

WORD quacksalver (noun) A charlatan or quack

FACT The dinosaur Oviraptor is named from the latin for 'egg seizer'

QUOTE Truth is what stands the test of experience. (Albert Einstein)

TODAY Julius Caesar is stabbed to death(44 BC)

BORN Eduard Strauss composer(1835)

DIED Benjamin Spock pediatrician and writer(1998)